Hello to All!

This is the story of my sister, SassEsnacks. I built this website in order to bring awareness to the early signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer.

Lizzy is my baby sister. There are only 3 years between us. I am the 3rd child and she is the 4th. We grew up together in a small California town, playing outside with friends and family. We were very close growing up and remained so as adults.

When I turned 18, I left home and joined the military. Lizzy stayed at home and finished high school.

After high school, Lizzy went on to get her Bachelors Degree in Education. Feeling that this was not her calling, she then got a certificate in the paralegal field. She worked in that career field for many years.

When I returned home from the military, Lizzy moved in with me to help me with my child. She was his second mom. Once things got settled, Lizzy got her own place just two blocks away. We spent a lot of weekend and holidays together. Lizzy had a couple of long term relationships, but ultimately she decided that staying single was probably going to work best for her.

One thing we had in common as sisters, was that we both loved to travel. We enjoyed seeing new places and learning about different cultures. However, both of us worked full time and found it difficult to get time off together. In 2007 we made our first overseas adventure to China together.

After this trip, we decided that we wanted to travel more and enjoy life to its fullest. She traveled to Ireland and Costa Rica with her friends while I traveled with my husband to Ireland and the UK. We often spoke of going more places together in the future.

In 2014, Lizzy started her YouTube channel as a “joke.” She made a video eating some Mallomar Bars that her friend had sent her from the East Coast (U.S.A). Almost instantly, she started to get followers. She made another video, and then another under the name “Old Lady ASMR.”

When the Outlander series started, Lizzy fell in love with the character “Jamie” and the term “Sassenach.” She then decided to change her channel name to “SassEsnacks ASMR.” It was a hit! Lizzy received the YouTube channel award for her first 100,000 subscribers. She was very proud.

In 2015 we decided to go to Austria (main photo above). I had been there once in 1996 and felt that she would enjoy it. Many of Lizzy’s subscribers helped us navigate Austrian food. We had a blast! Thanks to all of you who helped us out.

Very much into the Outlander series, we decided our next adventure should be to Scotland. I had been to Edinburgh once in 2009 and I wanted to see more. So did Lizzy. You can watch our crazy Scotland adventure on YouTube, here.

One of the most memorable stops we made was to the Fairy Pools on the Isle of Skye, where Lizzy scattered the ashes of her dear friend, Linda. Linda had recently passed away from a long battle with a neuromuscular disease. We had no idea that less than two years after this photo was taken, Lizzy would also be gone. Click here to view the SassEkrafts ASMR video that Lizzy made for Linda in October, 2017.

Lizzy at the Fairy Pools, Isle of Skye

The Most Difficult Time

Things seemed to be going well for Lizzy. Her YouTube channel had reached 200k subscribers, but it was becoming harder for her to make eating videos.

Lizzy often complained of stomach pain and the inability to eat certain foods while making her videos. She visited her doctor on several occasions and explained her symptoms in detail. Time after time, she was diagnosed with something other than the real issue, and prescribed medication that didn’t work.

In August of 2019, she sold her home in California and moved to Georgia to be closer to me. We made plans to spend move in together and travel more. We wanted to drive up and down the east coast and continue to travel overseas as much as we could.

I drove with Lizzy across country to her beautiful Georgia home. She started work a couple of weeks later, only to have to call of sick because she was in so much pain. She thought she had pulled a back muscle while moving furniture. But the pain just got worse and worse.

By October of 2019, Lizzy was unable to go to work. She asked to work from home, but even then, she couldn’t get anything done. She texted to me that the pain was so bad that she wanted to die. Her doctors prescribed her muscle relaxers and anxiety medications. Our brother had passed away in late October, so we were thinking the anxiety of the move and his death was possibly causing problems. However, none of the medications worked.

Feeling indebted to her subscribers for not making a video in a couple of months due to the move, she managed to make her first and last video from her home in Georgia. Listen to how she complains of stomach cramps.

Finally, in November, a doctor ordered a CT scan with contrast.

On November 20, 2018, Lizzy was driving to my home (or trying to) for Thanksgiving weekend when her doctor called her and told her to pull over to the side of the road. The doctor told Lizzy that she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and to drive to the Emergency Room immediately due to blood clots in her stomach.

When Lizzy texted me with the information, I let out a cry of sadness and anger that I will never be able to replicate. I knew from that very second that I was going to lose my sister and best friend. I packed up a suitcase and drove to meet her at the hospital. I cried all the way there.

I got her home that night, but we spent Thanksgiving in another hospital due to Lizzy being in so much pain. I cried and cried and cried some more.

The next five months were the worst of my life. Caring for her was not the problem. Thank God our mother was already making plans to come live with us. She made the journey to Georgia to help with the cooking and cleaning while I spent every waking moment getting Lizzy to appointments, to the Emergency Room, getting her medicine, giving her medicine and dealing with her work absence. I couldn’t have done any of it without MommEsnacks.

I also want to mention her close friends and coworkers who came to visit her. You know who you are and I couldn’t have done it without you.

The hardest part was watching my beautiful sister suffering in pain that they couldn’t control. Or, was it learning from the other doctors that they should have found the cancer two years before? Another issue was dealing with the YouTube community, many other ASMRtists or subscribers who were calling her a liar, stating that she made up the illness to make money. Others plain out posting in the comments that they were glad she was dying. In any event, it was a terrible time for all of us.

On the other hand, there were those of you who loved her enough to send her cards, gifts, and even money to help pay for her mortgage and medical bills. There were also some ASMRtists who paid tribute to SassE on their channels. Some even donated the proceeds to her medical expenses. The kindness that some of you showed my sister during our darkest moments was so powerful and meaningful that I will never be able to express my sincere gratitude for you. Thank you.

Lizzy slipped away quietly in the early morning hours of April 10, 2019. She was never one for goodbyes. It was our brother’s first birthday in heaven. I told Lizzy before we fell asleep that night, that if she saw our brother with some birthday cake, to go with him and eat some. She did. But, I’m glad she waited for our sister to arrive from California before she left us.

Lizzy left behind a devastated mother, two sisters and heartbroken friends. She also left her beloved dog, Mr. Darcy, whom we love and care for to this day.

Her “Sass-scribers” were just as saddened by the loss of the sassy “friend” they “never met.” Look at the comments on her YouTube channel on on her Instagram page. Most will tell you they thought of her as a close friend and they are grieving, too.

In only a few years, Lizzy left her mark on the world. That was all she ever wanted…to make a difference. The subscriptions to her channel continue to grow, even though it’s now been over five years since she passed.

Remembering SassE

On April 10, 2022, three years after her passing, I was finally able to travel to the Fairy Pools on the Isle of Skye. I scattered some of Lizzy’s ashes (and our brother’s ashes) where Lizzy had scattered Linda’s ashes in 2017. You can view the full video here.

Lizzy, aka SassEsnacks ASMR (YouTube), was a pioneer in the ASMR (audio sensory meridian response) community. Her witty ASMR videos, featuring the lower half of her face; eating different types of foods and whispering about whatever was on her mind, made her the “sassy friend” that people around the world grew to know and love.

My name is Jane, aka SissEsnacks, and I am Lizzy’s sister. I built this website in honor of Lizzy, to bring awareness to the early signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer. I hope you will take some time to read through the symptoms and share this website with your friends and loved ones.

Thank you for stopping by.

All the best,

~Jane